Teen Sex Causes Accident At New Restaraunt

Oh, hello. I didn't hear you come in. I'm Pat Barringer, host of the Pat Barringer Show. I was just reading my local newspaper, The Fargo Forum from their website, in-forum.com.

One of the features of the online edition is a box that shows the most read stories in a given hour. I have noticed a pattern in the types of stories that make the top of the list. Here are - in order of most to least read - the most popular subjects that Fargo and Moorhead readers can't get enough of.

1. Someone dies in a car wreck. This trumps everything. Could it be someone YOU know? Better find out...
2. Pornography/Prostitution. Photos of the accused are a must. And child pornography? So much the better. These stories probably serve as a "what not to do" for every pervert reading the online Forum.
3. Teen Anything. It doesn't matter what the story is about. Use "teen" in the title or as an adjective for anything to guarantee it will be read.
4. Restaraunt Opening/Closing. There's not much to do in Fargo other than eat and drink, so a new place for area fatsos (this writer included) to spend money is always welcome.

So, check it out for yourself. My bit is to scan the headlines every morning and then try to guess which story will be the most read. Use this list to get you started. Enjoy the sexiness!